One of the most difficult things for a freelancer to say is “no.” When your livelihood requires that you continue to bring in work, when a client asks you “Can you do X?,” the temptation is always to say “Absolutely!”
Earlier in my career, when I was building a business, my partners would marveled at how quickly I would tell a customer that we could do anything they wanted. “Absolutely!” cried with enthusiasm was our in-joke. At the time, I believed it. But I quickly discovered that although you can take on almost any type or amount of work, that doesn’t mean that you can do it well - or that you’ll enjoy it. Over the years I’ve had to learn that lesson over and over. I’ve only found real productivity and a relaxed sense of happiness when I finally embraced “no.”
Today I do one thing: I write. And I’ve discovered that not only do I enjoy the work and my life more, but also that my customers respect my narrow focus. Business is good. Yes, I could help you manage that project, but I won’t. Yes, I could help you with your HR policy, but I won’t. No, I am not interested in that big and potentially lucrative distraction.
It’s very frightening to say that. It makes me a little uncomfortable writing it here. I’m certain that the universe is about to drop a very tempting distraction in my way just so that its perversity and irony can trend towards a maximum (I’m a firm believer in Finagle’s Law).
But no. I thank you for the opportunity, but I must say no. The only way I can focus on my craft and my art is if I don’t constantly dilute it.
The key to saying no successfully is to understand that you are not saying no to everything, you are saying yes to those things you want. That’s the secret of the Spend Nothing Game. That’s the secret to becoming successful at your craft. It takes 10,000 hours of focused practice to develop world-class mastery. If you want that, you must say yes to the focus and isolation of your work, banning distractions.
So no, you can’t watch every movie ever made or read every book every published. You can’t read every tweet or keep up with every person you’ve friended on Facebook. Just decide what you want before you start saying no. If you know what you most want in life, saying no is not only easier, it’s a relief. You no longer have to wonder “what if,” because what you want is what you’re driving towards.
The rewards are significant. The more you say no, the greater your freedom to focus on what you really want to do. That is a heady and addicting experience.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
At the risk of sounding cliché, great post (seriously!). Saying “no” to obligations can translate saying “yes” to your goals / dreams. I never thought about it that way before. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks, Krisha.
It really is easy to say no when you know what you want and keep it clearly in front of you. It’s a process called “Structural Tension” and it helps draw you towards your fixed goals.
{ 1 trackback }