I am an admitted gadget freak, but in some ways I hate these same devices with almost the same intensity with which I love them.
I carry my iPhone every moment of the day. The only time it’s out of my reach is when I’m in the shower or asleep. It is a remarkable device and the immediate access to the net from anywhere and the striking combination of tools and communications options are very useful. I love the thing.
But at the same time I jump a little every time it rings. And my first reaction is almost always fear. I’m a father of daughters. My eldest is four hours away at grad school and my youngest, nearly 18, is out and about with the demands of school, lessons, and general teenage stuff. When the phone rings, my first thought, as a protective parent, is that something might be wrong. The tension builds until I hear their voice and learn why they’re calling. Nothing bad has happened to make me react this way. It’s just part of being a parent. I don’t react this way when I get a call from my wife or my parents. They’re all adults and my first thought when they call isn’t that something is wrong. I’m hoping the fears will fade as time goes by and I suspect that they will, but there’s always a tinge of anxiety when I get any unexpected call from my kids.
But beyond the fear is the interruption. The only time I want to hear the phone ring is when I’ve planned and scheduled a call. Every other time it’s a distraction from something else I’m doing. It breaks my focus and more likely than not will take me away from something that is important to me at that instant.
The worst are those interrupting, time-wasting idiots, anyone trying to sell me something, convince me to donate to their cause, or urging me to support their political candidate or purpose. While I will fight to the death to protect our rights of free speech, calling my phone or knocking on my door is an invasion of my privacy. Go stand on a soap box in a public park. I never talk to any one of them and hang up the second I learn what they’re up to. If you don’t know me or if I have not invited you to call, your call is not welcome. I may sound like a “get off my lawn” curmudgeon, but nowadays I feel as if I have to fight to protect productive and personal time.
Of course, I have to balance that with operating a business, but most of my clients contact me via email or schedule calls on Skype. Everything is copacetic.
So how do I fight the fear and the interruptions? I could, like some, turn off my phone ringers, but personally, I cannot. I have children I want to hear from if they need me, and I have business obligations. So I use strategy to mitigate the interruptions and fears. First, I use a personalized ringtone for each person or customer who regularly calls me. I instantly recognize who they are and decide if I need to answer or be concerned. Being a Mac and iPhone user I can take any song I already own, and using Garageband, turn it into a custom ringtone, so I don’t have to pay extortion-high rates for the right to use a song I’ve already paid for.
Next, I schedule my workday to start early and I focus my intense writing projects for times when I’m unlikely to be interrupted. This careful scheduling gives me hours every day to get things done and have few interruptions. My most productive time of the day is in between 7 A.M. and 11 A.M.
And finally, I speak honestly to those who call me. If I’m in the middle of something that I don’t want to interrupt, I ask the caller, as politely as I can, to let me call them back at an agreed time. More often than not the call isn’t urgent and as long as I keep my word and call people back, they’re fine with that.
How do you deal with the ringing phone? What strategies and techniques do you use to reduce the interruptions, distractions and fears? Please share what works for you in the comments below.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
The ringing phone has been the bane of my existence ever since childhood: my parents would yell at me for my friends calling during The Dinner Hour. Meanwhile Our Dinner Hour generally ran from 7 pm to 8 pm, a full hour after most of my friends’. There were no answering machines in the early 70′s…only persistent teenagers with new-fangled, easy-t0-dial push button phones.
Over time and with the technological assistance of answering machines, ringtones, and caller ID I am able to disregard the unplanned and unknown caller. If they have something important to say they will leave a message. This includes calls from your children/parents while you are on vacation. Trust me: nothing good comes from those interruptions.
Thanks, Mari.
I tend to be very abrupt and gruff with telemarketers and people who knock on my door. I don’t like being that way, but being polite and listening to their sales pitch would be worse. People who know me know better than to call and interrupt!
Great post. I think the most important message here is one of awareness. You made a conscious decision about WHAT you wanted to be interrupted by. I think few do this.
Modern technology allows us to be interrupted by so many things: email, Twitter replies, Twitter DMs, text messages, Facebook notifications, and a plethora of other social network events.
Modern technology allows it, but it does not require it.
I think it’s best if you weigh the pros and icons before accepting the default notification settings-particularly on mobile devices-but really everywhere. The key is making individual decsions as to which things are worth being interrupted for.
On my phone, I have all alerts disabled other than the phone and text apps. I’ve decided I do want to be interupted if someone contacts me through these channels. For all others, it’s up to me to check them on my terms.
There are limits to what we can process as people. We can’t be productive while being interrupted by every random whim of others. It just doesn’t work.
Thanks, Eddie!
While I choose not to be interrupted, my fear of being disconnected sometimes overrules that. A few years back this wouldn’t have been an issue. I wouldn’t have had realtime communications with virtually everyone. So turning off my phone wouldn’t mean I was turning my back on anyone. So I struggle with it. But that’s the lot of the parent and business person.
What did our parents do? We’re all still here and still alive. I think we are in an age of over communication and I don’t see it getting any better. I am in a panic if I leave home without my cell. Gadgets are supposed to “free up” our time but we just seem to be controlled by them. Have you heard the joke about the devil’s response to the question “What is your greatest accomplishment”? He said “Well, the great plague was one, the sinking of the titanic was another, but my greatest accomplishment of all time is “call waiting”.
It’s a blessing and a curse. If you’re in trouble or stranded somewhere and don’t have a cell phone you feel like an idiot. Climbers are rescued off of the side of mountains by calling for help.
And they are wonderful. Earlier this week my daughter that’s away at college called from the Laundromat and since we all have iPhone 4Gs, we used Facetime and talked as if she were in the room. It was wonderful
And yet they can annoy and interrupt. All-in-all, I think I’ll keep them.